But, her memories are clouded by Sheryl’s fate – she was killed by her abusive husband. Renee, her two surviving sisters and her parents fought for 27 years to bring justice for their family member.

“Sheryl was the oldest of four girls and never dated. She met this guy who paid attention to her and ended up marrying him. He wasn’t nice and put her down in front of us. We could see she was isolated,” Renee, State Farm^® employee, says.

Back then, divorce was frowned upon and domestic violence was treated as hush-hush.

“She’d have bruises or a black eye and make up excuses. ‘Oh, I fell down the stairs’ or ‘I ran into a door.’ Back then, you didn’t talk about it.”

In 1990, when Sheryl was 29, she decided to file for divorce. With three young sons – ages 5, 3 and 18 months – the judge thought it would be a good idea for them all to share the house. The kids would stay in the home and one parent would stay at a time. One night, convincing her one of the boys was sick, her estranged husband got Sheryl into the home, tied her to the bed and attempted assault.

“She got the door unlocked and ran to the neighbors’ house. They called the police, and he was charged with aggravated attempted sexual assault and attempted murder,” Renee says. “They finally had the divorce hearing, and she was awarded sole custody of the children.”

Just over two weeks later, Sheryl was dead.

When she didn’t show up for her shift at the hospital one morning, a colleague phoned the home. Sheryl’s 5-year-old son answered and said his mom was asleep in the garage, and he couldn’t wake her. The nurse called 911. Sheryl was found in the garage with a rope around her neck.

“He killed her and set it up to make it look like she committed suicide,” Renee says.

But Sheryl’s cause of death was ruled undetermined.

“The years passed. Every year my mom and dad would make a trip to the state’s attorney and ask for updates on the case,” she says. “In late 2008, a woman was elected to the State’s Attorney Office. She was in law school at the University of Illinois when my sister was murdered. She remembered the case. She called my parents and said it’s not a closed case, it’s a cold case. She said she’d like to get it resolved.”

In 2016, 26 years after Sheryl’s death, an inquest was done leading to a coroner’s jury ruling her death a homicide. Professionals noted the bruising on Sheryl’s neck was inconsistent with a hanging. Two months later, her former husband was arrested and charged in Sheryl’s death.

During the trial, prosecutors shared transcripts from Sheryl’s divorce case hearing, in which she was seeking a protective order. They shared details about the attack that happened about two weeks before her murder, along with testimony from her sisters and friends to prove a pattern of escalating sexual violence.

The jury took less than three hours to convict him of first degree murder. He was sentenced to 55 years in prison and must serve at least half.

“The judge told him, ‘You will spend a year behind bars for every year you’ve been free since you murdered her.’ That’s justice for Sheryl,” Renee says.

“While it’s hard, I am happy she finally has a voice. There are so many stories of domestic violence survivors. I want to tell her story because while she didn’t survive, she still has a story.”

But her life changed forever in February. She now loves that she has the opportunity to learn to walk, and run, again.

Tina, a former State Farm^® employee, was shot seven times by her estranged husband. At least one of those shots was to the head.

After some marital problems, Tina separated from her husband. He attempted to win her back numerous times. When he realized she was planning to pursue a divorce, he attacked her at her home.

“I was getting ready for work when he kicked the door in and came into my house,” Tina says. “He told me no one else could have me, and then he began shooting.”

Tina was in the hospital for 19 days, followed by inpatient recovery for six weeks, including reconstructive surgery on her hand. She then completed four weeks of outpatient work, and continues to have intensive physical rehabilitation three hours a day, three days a week.

“When I first woke up, I couldn’t feel anything below my waist,” says Tina. “Now I’m walking with a walker. I’m hoping in the next six months I’ll be back to walking on my own. I want to return to being a fitness instructor and a runner.”

The first two years of rehabilitation are when patients experience the most improvements, so Tina is hoping to make the most of her next two years. Tina ran six half-marathons in 2017. “In 2020, my goal is to run 12 half-marathons.”

Tina knows she has a lot of recovery ahead of her, but she’s celebrating her rehabilitation and the first responders who saved her.

“My niece wanted to do something for me, and she suggested we do a benefit race during October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month,” Tina says. “I loved the idea. It benefits the North Georgia Mountain Crisis Network Inc. and the Cherokee Family Violence Center in Canton, Ga.”

The event included a 5K run, a 1-mile fun run, games and face painting. Tina shared her story and thanked the paramedic, EMT and police officers who helped save her during her domestic violence attack.

“It went well. We had 281 runners. I participated in the 1-mile run. I did most of it my wheelchair, but I walked across the finish line,” Tina says.

My voice is strong

Knowing what I know now I would never have gone

Into the arms of a man who had never grown

As Dawn read aloud her poem, her words were punctuated by painful sounds only she could hear: a car door slamming, tires screeching. She offered to share her story, “Because by doing so I can help to break the cycle of abuse.”

Violence comes home

Not long after her marriage, Dawn began to notice frightening changes in her husband’s behavior. “He would come home from work and you could just feel the tension,” she says. “Suddenly you had a drill sergeant in the house.”

“All of us, but especially the children, experienced a lot of verbal and physical abuse,” Dawn continued. “My older kids (from a previous marriage) were only seven and eight then, but he whipped them and made them do push-ups to punish them. He tied my son to the bed with plastic handcuffs. It was like a nightmare.”

This part of Dawn’s story reached its end on a quiet Saturday morning in San Antonio, Texas. Dawn’s husband was already in a rage.

“I don’t like to argue, so I just let him talk,” she says. “Then I walked outside to get something out of the car and he followed and jumped into the driver’s seat. I was reaching into the passenger’s side of the car, with our two-year-old son on my hip, when he slammed the car in reverse. I thought he was going to run us over so I took off for the house and locked the door.”

As Dawn’s husband pounded on their patio door, she waited for the police. “That was the last straw,” she says. “I packed a duffel bag of things and we never looked back.”

No more bullying or fights before my sight . . .

Finding hope and the right help

After moving to St. Louis, Mo., Dawn found family support and the strength to begin a new life. She connected with Family Resource Center’s Redevelopment Opportunities for Women (ROW) programs.

ROW is a comprehensive set of programs providing the tools domestic violence survivors need to regain control of their lives and break the cycle of abuse and financial hardship. ROW's Economic Action program, supported by State Farm, includes financial literacy, budgeting, saving, credit counseling, as well as a variety of family and emotional counseling support services.

“Dawn is definitely a survivor,” says Suvekshya Joshi, a former ROW Family and Economic Advocate. “She took our parenting and finance classes and qualified for our Individual Development Account (IDA) program. She put her job earnings into a special account where we matched her savings two-for-one so she could purchase a car. Now we meet regularly to work on budgeting, and then we talk about her children.”

The toll of domestic abuse

Domestic abuse has a profoundly widespread, damaging effect. In the U.S. alone, more than 38 million women have experienced physical violence from partners. (CDC). Men who were exposed to domestic violence as children are three to four times more likely to commit it themselves as adults. (Source: World Health Organization).

Financial hardship plays a large role in perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Eighty-five percent of women who leave an abusive relationship return (Forbes), with financial issues being a leading factor in those decisions. Studies have shown women who connect to programs such as ROW are better able to leave their abusive relationships and feel safer, more independent, and more in control of their own lives. (Huffington Post)

Strength finds a new home

My bruises are gone

My thoughts are clear

My inspiration is always near . . .

Looking into those little eyes gave me hope

Dawn’s children have been in counseling for depression, but they are doing well, she says. “My kids keep me motivated. They see how I struggle with finances and keeping our family together, but I tell them, ‘As long as I have air in my lungs, I am going to keep on fighting.’”

And fight she will – not just for herself, but for all women. “My dream,” she says proudly, “is to open a non-profit to help women return to independence after living with an abuser.”

My name is Strength.

Editor’s note: If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse, please seek help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).